KindHow

Tipping

Holiday tipping calculator

Tick the people who look after you through the year and you get the December list — a name, an amount, and the cash it comes to.

Every amount sits inside a range The Emily Post Institute actually publishes, and the mail carrier line follows the federal rule that says no cash at all. Each line is marked sourced or house judgment.

Your list

Tick everyone who looks after you through the year — the list on the right updates as you go.

Home and family
Building and grounds
Personal care
Deliveries
$195$100 + $50 + $20 + $5 in cash

Set aside $195: $175 in cash across 4 people, plus $20 in gifts, because your mail carrier is not allowed to take money. The biggest single line is your housekeeper or cleaner at $110.

Why that muchAmount
Housekeeper or cleanerHouse judgmentEmily Post says “up to one week’s pay” — $140 in your case. Taking 75% of that ceiling is our call, not theirs, because they look after you all year.$110
Trash or recycling collector (×2)SourcedThe Emily Post Institute publishes “$10-30 each.” We land at $20 each because they look after you all year.+$40
BarberHouse judgmentEmily Post says “up to one haircut” — $35 in your case. Taking 75% of that ceiling is our call, not theirs, because they look after you all year.+$25
Mail carrierSourcedA federal rule, not an opinion: USPS carriers may accept a gift worth $20 or less per occasion, and never cash, checks or gift cards. $50 is the most one customer may give in a year.+$20
Cash and checks$175Gifts, because cash isn’t allowed$20Everything on your list$195

Informational only. These are amounts, not obligations. Emily Post says plainly that holiday tips are optional and that your budget and your relationship govern — skip a line, halve a line, and nobody is owed an explanation. Published ranges from The Emily Post Institute — Holiday Tipping Guide; the $20 carrier limit is USPS policy. Every judgment line is ours and is marked as such.

Methodology

This tool runs the Kindhow Scale, version 1.0, in its list form. The wedding calculator starts from one baseline and argues with it; this one has no single baseline, because the question does not have one. What it has is a row per person, and each row is tagged sourced when a publication backs that exact figure and house judgment when the reasoning is ours.

The formula

for each person on your list:

  published range      Emily Post's own $ range for that role
    ± where you live   BEA price parity, as a nudge inside the range
    ± how the year went first year / regular / years with you
                       → a figure still inside their range        sourced

  published ceiling    "up to one week's pay", "up to one haircut"
    × 50 / 75 / 100%   how the year went                          judgment
                       → 100% is their ceiling exactly            sourced

  no-cash roles        mail carrier, package driver
                       → $20 as a gift, fixed, USPS policy        sourced

  ─────────────
  = cash total   + gift total   = the whole list
  each line rounded to a bill you can put in a card (lib/giveable.js)

Published ranges — sourced

The Emily Post Institute’s Holiday Tipping Guide prices these roles three different ways, and this tool keeps all three rather than flattening them into one percentage. Some roles have a published dollar range. Some are pegged to something you already pay — a week’s wages, one haircut. Two are not tipped in money at all. The middle column is their wording; the last is what this tool computes at the middle setting, in an average-cost part of the country.

RoleWhat Emily Post publishesWe compute
Live-in nanny or au pairUp to one week’s pay and a gift from your child(ren).75% of one week’s pay
Regular babysitterUp to one evening’s pay and a small gift from your child(ren).75% of one evening’s pay
Day care staffA gift from you or $25-$70 for each staff member.$50
Housekeeper or cleanerUp to the amount of one week’s pay and/or a small gift.75% of one week’s pay
Dog walkerUp to one week’s pay or a gift.75% of one week’s pay
Pet groomerUp to the cost of one session or a gift.75% of one session
Doorman$15-80. $15 or more each for multiple doormen, or a gift.$50
Building superintendent$20-80 or a gift.$50
Garage attendant$10-30 or a small gift.$20
Trash or recycling collector$10-30 each.$20
Yard or garden worker$20-50 each.$35
Pool cleanerUp to the cost of one cleaning to be split among the crew.75% of one cleaning
BarberUp to the cost of one haircut or a gift.75% of one haircut
Salon staffUp to the cost of one salon visit divided for each staff member.75% of one salon visit
Personal trainerUp to the cost of one session or a gift.75% of one session
Newspaper delivery$10-30 or a small gift.$20
Mail carrierNo cash, no checks, no gift cards — a gift worth $20 or less.$20, never cash
Package delivery driverA small gift in the $20 range. Most delivery companies discourage or prohibit cash gifts.$20, never cash

Where the judgment is

One control moves the whole list, and it does two different jobs depending on how the role is priced. For a role with a published range it picks a point inside that range, so the figure is always one Emily Post publishes — those lines stay tagged sourced. For a role priced as up to something you pay, only the ceiling is theirs; taking a fraction of it is our inference, so those lines are tagged house judgment at anything below the top setting. That distinction is the whole reason the two tags exist.

SettingInside a published rangeAgainst a published ceiling
First year, or now and then15% of the way up50% of the ceiling
Regular, all year round50% of the way up75% of the ceiling
Years with you, and they went out of their way90% of the way up100% of the ceiling

Where you live

The bands come from the Bureau of Economic Analysis’ Regional Price Parities for 2024, and shift you up or down within each published range — never outside it. A state ten points above the US average moves you a fifth of the way up. This is our inference, not BEA’s: no publication has studied whether holiday tips track regional price levels.

It deliberately does not touch the roles pegged to what you already pay. A salon visit in San Francisco is already a San Francisco price, and applying a regional index on top of it would count the same thing twice.

BandPublished 2024 valuesWe use
A high-cost state — California, Hawaii, New JerseyCalifornia 110.7, Hawaii 110.0, New Jersey 108.8110
About the US averagethe US is 100 by definition100
A low-cost state — Arkansas, Mississippi, IowaArkansas 86.9, Mississippi 87.0, Iowa 87.887

The mail carrier is not a judgment call

Every other line on this page is guidance you may argue with. This one is federal policy, and the person it constrains is not you. USPS policy is that carriers “are permitted to accept a gift worth $20 or less from a customer per occasion, such as Christmas,” that “no employee may accept more than $50 worth of gifts from any one customer in any one calendar year period,” and that “cash and cash equivalents, such as checks or gift cards that can be exchanged for cash, must never be accepted in any amount.”

So that line does not move when you change the settings, and it is counted separately from your cash total. A gift card that can only be spent at one shop is a gift; a Visa gift card is cash and has to be refused. Private couriers are not covered by the same rule, but most of them have their own policy against cash, which is why this tool treats them the same way.

What this tool will not do

  • It will not tell you that any of this is required. Emily Post’s own guide says these are not rules, and that tipping is optional unless it is written into a contract. Untick anyone. The list is yours.
  • It has no opinion about your budget. There is no nudge here toward being more generous and no comparison to what your neighbours give. If this year is tight, give less, or give a note.
  • It does not cover teachers. Teachers and other public employees are a separate question with a different answer — cash is usually inappropriate and many districts publish a hard cap on what a teacher may accept. That needs its own tool, not a row on this one.
  • It is US-only. The ranges are American and the carrier rule is federal. End-of-year tipping customs elsewhere are frequently different and sometimes absent entirely.
  • It does not know your building. A staff fund everyone contributes to, a super who fixed your boiler on Christmas Eve, or a doorman you have known for fifteen years all beat anything a model can compute.

Sources

Informational only, not professional advice. The Kindhow Scale is a published model, not a standard, and the lines marked house judgment are our reasoning and nothing more. The USPS limits are the one exception on this page: those are policy, and they are quoted rather than interpreted. Last reviewed: August 2026. Scale version 1.0. Figures that come from a publication are re-checked against their source on a monthly cycle; when one moves, the version number moves with it.

Frequently asked questions

How much do you tip your mail carrier at Christmas?

You do not tip them at all, and this is the one line on the list that is a rule rather than an opinion. USPS policy says a letter carrier may accept a gift worth $20 or less per occasion, may accept no more than $50 from any one customer in a calendar year, and may never accept cash, checks, money orders or gift cards that can be exchanged for cash — Visa and Amex gift cards included. A $20 tin of something, a coffee shop card that cannot be cashed out, or a written note are all fine. An envelope with $50 in it puts your carrier in a position they have to refuse.

Who are you actually supposed to tip at the holidays?

The Emily Post Institute's holiday guide covers the people who serve you regularly and directly through the year: nannies and babysitters, day care staff, housekeepers, dog walkers and groomers, doormen, superintendents, garage attendants, trash and recycling crews, yard workers, pool cleaners, barbers and salon staff, personal trainers, and newspaper delivery. Two groups are deliberately outside it — teachers and government employees, who should get a gift rather than cash, and often have a workplace rule capping what they may accept at all.

Is holiday tipping mandatory?

No. Emily Post is unusually direct about this: holiday tips and gifts "are optional (unless part of a written contract) and the kind of gift is dependent on your budget and relationship to the provider," and the guide states outright that "these are not rules." This calculator produces amounts, not obligations. A cheaper year is a cheaper year, and a written note to someone you cannot tip this December is a real thing to give.

How much do you tip a doorman at Christmas?

The Emily Post Institute publishes $15 to $80, with $15 or more each where a building has several doormen. That range is wide because it is doing a lot of work: a first year in a small building sits near the bottom, and years of a doorman signing for your packages in an expensive city sits near the top. At the middle setting this tool lands on $50 each, and it multiplies by how many doormen you name rather than splitting one amount between them.

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