How much should you give?
Pick your situation below and answer a few questions. You get one number to hand over, and the reason for every dollar of it, with our opinions marked as opinions. Free, no sign-up.
Worked example: change an answer
A close friend's wedding, and you're in the wedding party. The outfit is bought, the flights are booked — and there's still the gift.
The usual for a close friend is $200. You’re in the wedding party, but you’re paying to get there — and we think that fairly comes off the top. Give $180.
| Why that much | Amount |
|---|---|
| Baseline for a close friendSourcedThe Knot puts this tier at $150–$250 and recommends $200. | $200 |
| You’re in the wedding partyHouse judgmentThe Knot measures the wedding party giving more than other guests. $25 is our read of how much more — and you have already paid for the dress or the suit. | +$25 |
| Getting there is on youHouse judgment8% of the $1,200 you’re spending to be there, capped at $50. This is not "cover your plate" — Emily Post rejects that idea and so do we. It is that showing up already cost you something. | −$50 |
Where the starting figure came from: The Knot — How Much to Spend on a Wedding Gift. The other lines are our own call, and the card says so. Run it with your own answers. Informational only; what you can afford is your business, not ours.
Where the number comes from
- Every amount starts from a figure somebody actually published, such as The Knot, Emily Post or a government table. The page names it and links to it.
- Where we adjust it, the line says “house judgment”. That is our opinion, marked so you can disagree with it and watch the total change.
- Nothing is stored and nobody is judging your budget. The tools do the arithmetic. What you can afford is your business.
Some questions aren’t arithmetic: when to send it, who isn’t allowed to accept it. Those are in the guides →